Tigers and Devil Rays Of A Feather?

We all know about Delmon Young and his 50 game suspension for tossing a bat at an umpire in a PawSox game several weeks back, but apparently his brother Dmitri, who is often referred to as being an incredibly friendly and outgoing personality, also has something of a temper. According to an article in the Detroit Free Press today the elder, 32 year old Young is being charged with domestic abuse by his *ahem* 21 year old girlfriend. They had been dating for several years, which is why it's domestic abuse and not assault.

This is clearly not something to joke about, as someone was hurt, buuuuut we love our jokes around here, and this seems to be the perfect time to tell the world about McSweeney's and their fantasy baseball columns. Hilarious. Here's a taste of what you can find at this glorious site, from the 2006 American League Projection piece written several weeks ago:

Detroit Tigers

An investigation will be launched into how a mediocre player like Dmitri Young could attain such a badass nickname as "Da Meat Hook." The result will tell the tale of young Dmitri and his impoverished upbringing. Abandoned when he was 6 months old, Young was taken in by a poor single butcher who fed the boy leftover fat and gristle from that day's sales. Years on this diet turned him into the muscular beast he is today. The butcher, on the other hand, suffered a whopping 13 heart attacks and finally succumbed to the 14th, from then on referred to as a "butcher's dozen." Young's nickname is a reminder of the time spent developing his powerful swing with bare cow bones, picked clean from that night's meal.

Da Meat Hook. There really is no way to put a price on such creativity. You can find that and other ingenius nuggets of écriture here. It won't disappoint.